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Tired of those weak regular laser pointers that don’t paralyze and cause permanent retina damage to someone when you point it at their eyes? Want to own a laser so powerful that it’s practically a lightsaber? We present to you the world’s most powerful laser.

Solve your fly problem once and for all with the salt firing shotgun. The shotgun works with regular table salt and holds up to 50 rounds so that you can annihilate every pesky house fly in one murderous evening. It also works great for violently seasoning your food!

Have some real cannon warfare with your office mates with these fully functional tiny cannons. Firing deadly tiny .177″ cannon balls, these mini cannons pack a surprisingly powerful punch – capable of obliterating beer bottles, wine glasses, and other small objects.

Land some electrically charged blows to any potential attacker with these brass knuckles tazers. These knuckle enhancing stun guns pack an impressive 950,000 volts of electricity in every punch, enough to paralyze your attacker even if you punch like a little girl.

Be prepared for anything the world throws your way with the tactical self defense pen in your pocket. Apart from its patented waterproof ink, the pen features a glass breaker, handcuff key, and even a self defense tool that collects an attacker’s DNA sample.

Look like a true hero with this epic hand crafted leather dragon slayer armor. Even if you aren’t a dragonborn, you can still look like an epic warlord with this armor. Each piece of the dragon slayer armor set is made to order using 7/8 ounce leather.

Handle your steak, chicken, and other meats like the barbarian warlord that you really are with these bear claw meat forks. The bear claw meat forks are great for barbequing and make a great gift for dad or people who love to savagely tear apart their meals.

Ride around looking like the Dark Knight with this replica Batman motorcycle suit. This highly detailed wearable suit is constructed using premium leather and Kevlar inserts, giving you real protection while looking like Batman. Batcycle sold separately.

Don’t throw out those bottle caps, because now you can recycle them into precious ammo! With a capacity for shooting bottle caps over 16 feet with the push of a button, you’ll be able to annoy anyone in the room without having to get up from your seat.

Command the deadliest artillery in the entire cubicle block when you equip your workstation with the USB rocket launcher. Next time your boss approaches you, this entertaining high-tech gadget will make him think twice about asking for those T.P.S. reports.

Arm yourself for battle with the downrange tactical tomahawk and live to see another day in the post-apocalyptic world. The incredibly versatile design provides you with an array of useful tools such as a hammer, axe, and pry bar in a lightweight package.

The biometric gun storage box is the most convenient way to safely store your handgun while still allowing for quick and easy access in the event of an emergency. It keeps the gun out of reach from children, but allows you to access it with just the touch of your finger.

If you’re heading into the wild, don’t do so without this multi-use survival machete. This ultra versatile and deadly high-carbon steel machete sports an ergonomic ash wood handle and can be utilized as a machete, a shovel, a brush axe, and a knife.

Whether you’re slicing through jungles or defending yourself during the raging inevitable zombie apocalypse, this razor sharp 11 3/4″ 3Cr13 stainless steel bladeRaptor machete from United Cutlery will get the job done!

Ensure you’re always ready to pop open a cold brew or swiftly cut open a package by making this bottle opener keychain folding knife part of your everyday carry. It boasts a razor sharp blade, built-in bottle opener, and sports a durable stainless steel construction.

Conquer whatever environment you’re placed in with the multi-tool survival shovel. Crafted from heavy duty stainless steel, this extremely versatile shovel functions as five different tools, such as a hammer, a saw, and a knife. The great outdoors won’t stand a chance.

BUDK.com is offering the M48 Tactical Tomahawk at an unbelievable deal of BUY ONE GET ONE FREE! Click the link or use the promo code BKTWBTA at checkout. Available only to This Is Why I’m Broke readers so you better hurry! Limited time only!

Carry around a handy tool without raising any eyebrows by placing this mini green leaf knife on your keychain. The knife comes with a sharp stainless steel blade and features a clever design that allows you to discreetly carry it anywhere.

Take down any predator that crosses your path – no matter the size – when armed with the compressed gas injection knife. Apart from its razor sharp edge, the knife injects compressed gas into the prey via a small opening in the blade, causing explosive damage.

Incinerate anything that stands in your way by grabbing a hold of the tactical propane blowtorch. This heavy-duty custom blowtorch can be outfitted with a compact propane tank on top – allowing your to fire a steady stream of scorching flames.

Guarantee your victory on the battlefield with the merciless  paintball machine gun. Mounted onto a battle tested tripod is a 30+ pound 8mm machine paintball gun with a custom electronic trigger that can fire in semi-auto 3 shot burst and full automatic mode.

Annihilate the opposition when you unleash the fury of the paintball machine gun. With this deadly weapon in your arsenal, you’ll be able to release a rampage of epic proportions that’ll guarantee no one is left unmarked when it’s all over.

Declare war on your fellow cubicle mates by launching annoying little projectiles at them using this toothpick crossbow. It measures just under five inches long – making it the ideal size for firing small projectiles like toothpicks and Q-tips.

Remain at peace but ready to throw down if the situation should arise by carrying around this self defense Buddha beads necklace. This 40-inch long chain comes fitted with 108 small 10mm beads that you can wear as an accessory or use to deter a would-be attacker.

Be inconspicuously ready when trouble comes your way by wearing the baseball cap self defense tool. This discreet hat allows you to store a deadly tool that can be readied in a moment’s notice to protect yourself and your loved ones.

Declare war on your neighbors with this real wooden medieval trebuchet kit. It may not be able to blow up planets like the Deathstar, but this medieval trebuchet is guaranteed to make your annoying neighbors fall in line to the rightful King of the neighborhood.

Beef up your home’s security with the greatest weapons in history by purchasing this Acme weapons crate. This sizable crate comes filled with a range of deadly weapons like a two-handed machete, a mace, a bullwhip, and a tomahawk among others.

Travel light on your next hunting excursion with the compact folding survival bow. Forged from aircraft-grade aluminum, this high quality bow can be adjusted to accommodate right or left handed users and folds into a compact package that you can take anywhere.

These stun gun gloves are the perfect way to deter an assailant during those frigid winter months. Rather than having to fumble around your purse looking for your taser, you’ll be able to simply grab your attacker and give them the shock of their lives.

Take home a piece of vampire hunting history when you acquire the steampunk bow. This bow is fashioned from sturdy plastic and metal and designed to deliver a deadly stake through the chest of any undead monster; a must have for anyone planning a trip to Transylvania.

Whether you’re out on the field, camping, or battling a horde of brain-crazed zombies, the M48 Kommando Survival Hammer has your back. It features a reinforced nylon handle along with a stainless steel head with a hammer on one end and a curved spike on the other.

Dominate the battlefield as you assassinate lesser opponents with no mercy using the airsoft grenade launcher. This 6-round revolving grenade launcher will pummel the enemy with 40mm airsoft grenade shells that’ll have them screaming in fear for their mommy.